Differing Allegiances

Given that it is Gameday, I thought this was an appropriate topic! See, Thomas and I both love college football.. but we cheer for different teams in the same conference. ...Oops. And it's never more apparent than on Saturdays, when we have to decide which game to watch. I also feel like we have more than your average allegiance to our teams, since both of us actually played in the marching band for our respective teams. Any guesses as to our teams? I've alluded to several factors that could identify it..

Thomas is an ardent UK Cats supporter..

While I am 100% a UGA fan! (I'm the person on the second row on the right)

Needless to say, this creates an interesting smack talk dynamic. UK is not historically known as a football school, so I usually win those competitions.. But UGA's basketball program leaves a little bit to be desired, whereas UK is usually a basketball powerhouse. And while I have caved and bought a Kentucky shirt - I do live in Lexington, after all, and went to a game in person - he has yet to own any Georgia paraphernalia.

It's also interesting to see how we interact when one person's team wins and the other's loses. That happened the very first weekend of this season, when my beloved 'Dawgs couldn't pull it out against Oklahoma State, and I was pretty upset. Meanwhile, he was happy about the Cats win against Miami (Ohio). The winner has to both console and be celebratory at the same time - which is pretty hard to do! I can only imagine what will happen after we play each other later this season. We have successfully gotten through it before, so hopefully this time is no different. It does help that he cares a litttleee bit less than I do. However, we both respect that we will not alter our support of our alum.

Is there anything you and your FI will not agree on? Do you have any friendly competitions that add a little bit of fun to your relationship?

Engagement Pictures!

You know how they say that good things come to those who wait? Well, in the case of our engagement pictures, that was definitely true! We had our session at the beginning of July, and on Saturday we got our CD of pictures in the mail - you better believe I did a little jumping up and down right there at the mailbox. I was really glad we did them, because we were pretty awkward in front of the camera at first (mostly Thomas - I'm used to being in front since he's a photographer) but hopefully we will remember all the tricks at our wedding and just avoid the awkward part altogether. 

It's definitely hard to pick just a few to show you, but I'm pretty sure no one else wants to see all 84 pictures, so I'll give it a shot. 

One of the very first pictures we took, so we were getting used to being in front of the camera.

I'm pretty sure this is one of my favorite pictures. We just both look really happy.

On the roof! I was slightly terrified during this picture, since I was sitting up on a railing, but I don't think it shows.

In the stairwell. Thomas thinks he looks like he's not paying attention - I think it just makes us both like pretty awesome.

Outfit change. Love love love those red shoes.

My wonderful fiance :-)

Gratuitous portrait of myself. I have a bad habit of doing the head-turn, but Thomas thinks it actually kind of works in this picture.

Last one. I love the parking deck shot.

(all pictures by Nam Nguyen)

I hope you enjoyed these as much as I do! If it wasn't too ridiculous, I would probably have posted every picture - I love them all.

Did you have engagement pictures taken? Did you end up using them in some way for the wedding or just keep them for yourself?

Our Engagement Story

I just realized, in all my forgetfulness, that I have also never posted how I actually came to be planning a wedding. With the recent engagement of two of my very good friends last night, I thought now would be a good time to share our engagement story.

(our friends who got engaged last night - we were the sneaky surprise photographers!)

We had been talking about marriage for a long time - think since we started dating in March of 2008. In December, we started talking about it a lot more seriously, and began looking at rings. Between December and February we made several trips to jewelry stores, and in early February I found the ring that I thought was perfect. Unbeknownst to me, Thomas actually called the store two days later (on a Monday) and asked them how soon they could have it ready. At this point, I still thought he was saving up or deciding between all the options or maybe just dragging his feet, so I was still very impatient.

The weekend of our one-year anniversary also happened to be the weekend of a major fraternity event, at which Thomas was running for office in his district. I went to be supportive, and also because I didn't want to spend our one-year anniversary sitting in Athens, GA while he had a fun weekend up in Toledo, OH. So I drove up to Kentucky on Thursday, and we drove to Ohio on Friday. That Saturday was our one-year anniversary, and we spent it in leadership classes and promoting his campaign. That day also happened to be our friends birthday, so that night all of us planned on going out to get pizza and drinks to celebrate. Since Thomas was still campaigning, we left a lot later than they did, and by that time it was very dark, and very cold. The restaurant was only a block away though, so off we walked.

Instead of turning right to go to the restaurant, Thomas decided that he wanted to go see the gazebo by the river that he had pointed out to me earlier in the day. I don't do very well with cold, or being late, so I was being a bit cranky, and kept point out the fact that the wind was probably blowing at least 40 miles per hour. We got to the gazebo, he set down his papers.. and they promptly started blowing away. I frantically tried to pick them all up, since they were all his campaign papers, and he was just trying to get me to focus on him.

He started telling me all about how he had ordered the ring, and had talked to my dad.. but my ring hadn't come in yet. I must have looked disappointed, so he said that maybe we could just take a picture out here in this gazebo thing. He had my camera in his jacket pocket, so he reached in and pulled out .. the ring box! I immediately asked him if he was serious, he asked if he should get down on one knee (uhm, yes!) and then he asked me to marry him. Clearly, I said yes :-)

Right after it happened. Here, you can see just how dark it really was!

I immediately began this strange combination of laughing and crying - evidenced by the mascara smudged all around my eyes.

We went back the next day to take some pictures in the place where it actually happened. This is the "gazebo" thing. It ended up being on the campus of a company that makes pink insulation.

A reenactment, and also one of my favorite pictures.

A close-up of the ring!

So, that's how we came to be engaged on the banks of the Ohio River, far away from where we met (Orlando, FL) where we had our first date (Atlanta) and where we currently live (Lexington, KY!)

The Wedding is about the Marriage

I'm taking a break from the regular wedding "look and feel" discussions to talk about something a little more serious.. but there might still be a picture or two!

When we met with the pastor who would be marrying us, he let us know that we would be having 2 or 3 sessions with him before getting married, as a kind of "pre-marriage counseling" sort of deal. Since we currently live about 5.5 hours from the pastor, so we can't just pop in anytime. He gave us some homework at the last meeting, which was to answer the following questions individually (and not share answers until we talked to him first):

"1. What do you love most about your partner?
2. Talk about your family.
3. What did you learn from your family about the following:
   a. Money
   b. Anger
   c. God
   d. Family
   e. Marriage
   f. Sex
   g. Children
4. What are your five-year goals?"

While I definitely appreciate the counseling that he is offering us, I am one of those people that likes to be prepared and do a LOT of research before I jump into something, so it should come as no surprise that I wanted more than just two or three sessions before getting married. I was tempted to do actual pre-marital counseling, but Thomas was a little wary and wanted to see how we could do on our own first. He told me that I could pick any relationship book I wanted, and we would buy two copies and read through it together.

I already had a book in mind, since Miss Duckling had written a series of recaps on this particular book. So off we went to Barnes & Noble, and since I had received a gift card for graduation we were able to get two copies for free (along with a copy of Dr. Zhivago - my favorite book)!

So which book is it? It's "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman. Along with hearing about it on Weddingbee, I had also actually heard of Gottman in my AP Psychology class in high school, so I knew that he was legit and I trusted that he was writing from a scientific basis. So far, I've already learned a lot, and I'm only on the second principle!

(source)

(I told you there would still be a picture!)

I'll be sharing more about what the actual principles are in future posts, but I think Miss Duckling did a pretty good job of recapping it herself. I'll focus more on how they affect actual day-to-day interaction between Thomas and I, which hopefully will highlight the books actual practical applications.

Did you prepare for your marriage beyond what was required by the officiant? Would you consider using a book like this (exercises and all) to help get ready for such a big change?

Better Together

After dating for about 4 months, Thomas and I both had come to the conclusion that this was definitely serious, and we were both in it for the long haul. At some point, he told his best friends that he believed I was "the one." From that point on, it was always "when we live together" or "when we're married", and a lot of our conversations were focused on the future. Since I was graduating first, at some point we decided that I would move to Lexington and live with him for his final year of college. While it is definitely a life-changing decision, I don't think there was ever a doubt in my mind that the plan was going to work out. Which is probably why I got engaged at the age that I did, at the time that I did, even though we had never really stayed together for longer than oh, a week. 

Needless to say, there were times when I wondered if we were doing the right thing. I had made the request that we at least be engaged before we move in, proving that I do have a somewhat traditional bone in my body. We knew that we were going to find out things about each other and learn potentially annoying characteristics, ones that we would now be living with forever. 


After one month of living together, I am happy to report that we're doing even better than I had imagined. If you have never been in a LDR, it's hard to describe how amazing it is to see the person you love every single day. While there are certainly times when we frustrate each other, overall our relationship is growing and we're becoming even closer. 

(the dining room/reading nook - we recovered those chairs, at which point Thomas made me promise never to reupholster anything else ever again.)

(our bedroom - yes that's me!)

We went straight from a long-distance relationship to living together, which I know some might consider crazy. Did you take a non-traditional path towards marriage and living together? 

Date Day

Today was the last day before Thomas starts his "victory lap" (as he calls it), otherwise known as his 5th-year of undergrad work. This also marks the last day of our honeymoon period, where we had 2 weeks to just hang out with each other in our new apartment before any real work had to be done. I was kind of hoping to have a job by this point, just to counteract what I'm sure will be boredom when he's at class all day.. but unfortunately that didn't happen.

I don't know if he did this because he knew that I was nervous about him leaving, or he just knew that I'd been wanting to have flowers in our apartment, but he showed up at the apartment with a dozen or so pink roses and 10 bunches of other flowers! He even helped to cut them and put them in some of the millions of vases we have. It was a great way to start out this period of time, which I know will be crazy. We also had made plans earlier to go see The Inglorious Basterds, so we went to that and had a "date day" since we saw it at 3:20. Not exactly a date movie, but it was a very good movie overall.

I don't know if you love flowers as much as I do, but I'm going to include pictures anyway!


Our combination of the bunches that he bought. One of his family friends recently gifted us with several vases as a house-warming gift, and I was glad to be able to finally put something in them! Usually they just sit on our mantle empty.
One of the bud vases we received. I think these are alstromeria, but I could just be making that up.


The roses! They are such a gorgeous hot pink color. I eventually want to get some sort of fake peonies or hydrangeas to fill that vase on a permanent basis, but this is making me think that roses wouldn't look too bad either.

What has your fiance done for you lately that reminds you of exactly why you want to marry him?

Our Story

In 2007, our band fraternity (Kappa Kappa Psi) held its biannual National Convention in Orlando. One of my friends at UGA, Katie, had worked at Bands of America for a couple of years, where she met Thomas. Katie introduced us at the National Convention, and our two chapters hung out the rest of the week. At the time, I was in a relationship, so I wasn't really looking for anything other than friendship. However, at the time, I remember thinking that he would be a great match for me - we had such similar interests and beliefs.

A few months later, UK played UGA in football. He traveled down with the pep band and several of my friends and I went to their hotel the night before the game to hang out and catch up. We ended up talking by ourselves (mostly about fraternity related things) for the rest of the night, and agreed to talk more online and maybe get a retreat set up for the spring semester with our two chapters.

In March of 2008, UK played UGA in the SEC Men's Basketball Tournament, so (now)BM Stephanie and I again went to visit with their chapter since it was in the Georgia Dome in Atlanta. That was the same night that tornadoes hit Atlanta, and in particular the Georgia Dome that we were sitting in. My friend and I couldn't leave the city, since all the power was out, trees were knocked down, parts of buildings were in the street.. so we stayed in their hotel that night. My FI and I got to talking, and decided we should go on a date. The next day, I picked him up at the hotel and we went to Mellow Mushroom for some pizza. Once we realized how much we had in common, we decided to meet up at his hometown the next weekend. He told his mom that we were only meeting for "fraternity business" but she quickly realized that it was something more.

That Saturday in Madisonville, we decided that we had something that we couldn't ignore. Despite the 440 miles between Athens and Lexington, we had to give it a shot! We've been together since then, making almost biweekly trips in either direction, but it was obviously worth it.

Taken on our first "official" day, right before I left to go back to Athens.