Anyway. At the very beginning of my engagement (and perhaps slightly before..) I had this vision of an outdoor garden wedding. Along with the outside-ness and flowery-ness, I had a certain image of what a garden wedding dress looked like. The only dresses I really looked at online or in magazines fit in this category of "garden dress" - which included a trumpet or a-line style dress and all lace, preferably with straps.
Actual page from my attempt at keeping an inspiration notebook.
Clearly, I had a vision. A very close-minded vision, one that left little room for variation, but a vision nonetheless.
One weekend a couple of weeks after I became engaged, Brides Against Breast Cancer was holding an event in Atlanta, so I drove down to go with my mom. I tried on a lot of different styles of dresses there, but since I was looking for a very specific style, I didn't find anything. On a whim, we decided to go to Priscilla of Boston and looked up their number in one of the bridal magazines we had in the car.
While there, I tried on another ton of dresses, saving the all-lace one for last. I mostly tried on trumpet-style gowns, and even though they were gorgeous, I felt like they looked more red-carpet than bridal. I did try on one ballgown dress, and it was the only contender against the dress I ended up buying..
The next day my father joined us, and I tried on the Maeve (above) and a few others but was convinced that the all-lace dress was THE dress for me. It didn't totally feel like me, and I wasn't quite sure about the fit, but I had this vision in my head of an all-lace dress at a garden wedding, and I can be quite stubborn when I want to be. So that day we put down the deposit and we bought..
Her name is Nora. That night I went home, excited but also a little nervous. Had I really found my dress? Why hadn't my parents made me look at any more dresses? For reassurance, I looked at all the pictures we had taken once we were finally allowed to.
I know it is a gorgeous dress. But in my mind I kept making up reasons as to why it wasn't perfect. It made me feel self-conscious about my hips. The top part was a little itchy. And so on.
I think that what was really the problem was that I am not-so-secretly in love with ballgowns, the bigger the better.
(exhibit A - my prom dress, otherwise known as my most favorite dress ever)
I would see other people's dresses posted on WeddingBee boards or on facebook and be more than a little bit jealous of their princess dresses. I tried to convince myself that a princess-dress wouldn't work in the gardens.. but ended up having a panic attack at my internship that convinced me I should try on other dresses. And you know how that ended up!
Did you question some of your major decisions? Were you blinded by a look that you thought you had to achieve? Do you have any ideas as to why I temporarily forgot that I want to be a princess?